Mental Health Christmas Carols - (what they mean)
Valenties Bundle!

Parent Job Description

This  is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't  believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION  :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team  players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an often  chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent  communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work 
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and  frequent 24 hour shifts on call.  Some overnight travel required,  including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and  endless sports tournaments in far away cities!  Travel expenses  not reimbursed.  Extensive courier duties also  required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your  life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,  until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue  repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a  pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three  seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the  backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to  face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget  repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. 
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate  production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to  plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and  mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, 
an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product  safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and  battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be  prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete  accountability for the quality of the end product.  Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and  janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY  FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is  to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in  your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS  EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job  training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES  AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them! 
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is  due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college  will help them become financially independent.
When you die,  you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this  reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you  could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health  or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no  paid holidays and
no stock options are offered; this job  supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards  right.

Forward this on to all the  PARENTS  you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,  letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job  they do...or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying  for the job.   
"AND A FOOTNOTE ,  THERE  IS NO RETIREMENT  --  EVER!!!  **  If  you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents!      

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